DISCUSSION GUIDELINES for a culture of respect

It is well established in creativity theory that innovation and improvement cannot happen without an atmosphere of experimentation, risk-taking and trust. The following discussion guidelines may seem obvious and simplistic to seasoned communicators. People will be familiar with most of them. Nevertheless, it is important to establish a culture where the whole combination of skills and attitudes become the norm. Having a group agree to these guidelines from the beginning prevents needless conflicts and
misunderstandings. If you are in a group where these guidelines are being
violated, speak up. Create safety and energize everyone in the group.

SHOW EACH OTHER RESPECT

Honour the diversity of opinion in the group.
Honour the differing abilities and disabilities in the group.
Listen until the other person is finished. Give people the space to finish
their own thoughts.
Avoid put-downs, name-calling, blaming or labelling.
If someone has a different perspective, that doesn't make them wrong.
Each perspective contributes to the understanding of the whole.

COMMUNICATE FOR UNDERSTANDING

Use "I" statements. "I think .... I feel ... I need." Own your own feelings
and opinions.
Speak your own thoughts. Let others speak for themselves.
Describe the behaviour you are reacting to.
Check out your assumptions. Ask for clarification. Do this for both ideas
and feelings.
Bring your goodwill. Hear the content through your heart.

PARTICIPATE WITH TRUST AND COMMITMENT

Ask for what you want or need.

If you are a talker, limit your own contribution so that you can make
space for others.

Invite others to speak.

If you are a listener, remember that the group needs all the perspectives.

If no-one else puts your ideas forward then it is important that you share them.

Hang in there when the going gets tough. With trust you will be able to hear each other and come to resolution.

Avoid negotiating with threats.